Wednesday evening

All,
Sick guy here.
Well, i am over my emotion from earlier. Here is the rundown for today:
The dr. appointment was at 10:15. By 10:30 i was again free from any connection to an appliance. By 10:45 it was obvious that i was once again failing my test. All the prep from the week gone by, well, went by. The doctor wanted to do a cystoscopic exam later in the day and wanted to replace Mr. Foley! I asked for a little time off to see if the system would somehow jump-start. He agreed, but gave me a 1:00 deadline. If the flow was not on by then, I had to phone him to schedule the cysto exam.
You are ahead of my aren't you? One came and I called. There was a series of miscommunications before the receptionist from the surgery center phoned and asked if I were coming or not. I told her I was just waiting on the call. She said be here in 15 minutes. At 3:45
we ran from the house headed for the surgery center at Kennestone.
As soon as we arrived the took me back for the prep and procedure. I asked for Valium. They laughed. I was dead serious. Hey, if I have to go through all this poking and prodding I thought it wouldn't be too much to ask to be comfortable; or at least drugged to the point I didn't care that i was about to be humiliated (with an audience) and prodded in a most unpleasant way. Still no Valium.
The scope resembled a black industrial strength hose you might see at a service station or fire truck. There was a little light on the tip. I guess the doc might not have good night vision. I asked him if he needed a map. He did not.
Once the truck pulled the scope from me the doc was all smiles.
"No need for the laser! You have an infected and inflamed prostate." Well, normally that would not be good news. Anything short of a death sentence sounds good these days! "So what are we going to do?" I asked. I am going to change your antibiotic and you will come back in two weeks. Any smart person would have just let that be enough. Nobody has ever accused me of being smart. "What about my current inability to void?" I asked naively. "We will replace the Foley for the next two weeks." He said that as he motioned to Bubba who stood in the corner with the Foley and was all smiles. Bubba learned to perform this delicate maneuver while running barbed wire on a ranch somewhere in the desert southwest where they have no gloves and no hand lotion.
Once the appliance was sufficiently imp ailed, he shook my hand and congratulated me. In a moment of complete pain and weakness I actually said, "Thank you." Did I say that i have never been accused of being smart?
I requested a wheel chair to make my exit. They laughed. I guess it is with my Valium.
When i checked out I told the young lady that I had lost something since i saw her. She asked what it was. I said, "my dignity. If you see it will you please call?" She checked her paper work to make sure she had my number. Now I know what happened to my Valium.
After we left I took a few moments to lament my situation. Lamentation is one thing that requires no movement at all below the belt.
After a well applied internal poultice of hamburger my spirits were lifted. Next time i take the hamburger before the doc visit.
i am well. i am in a holding pattern for the next two weeks. As far as i am concerned, The Lord missed a good chance to return a few weeks ago.
I do so hope this post is taken well. If not, let me suggest a cystoscopic exam. I just had one and it has changed me!
Blessings,
PA