All,
Sick, lame, and abused guy here.
Today I thought I would just will myself well. As soon as possible we left the house. We went to get drugs.............interpret it any way you wish! We had breakfast. We went to Discovery Mills mall so i could walk around and do so in the environs of the Bass Pro Shop. That is when the twin brothers fatigue and exhaustion showed up. The attitude was right; the physical support system was just not willing.
Denise served as my beautiful crutch to get back to the car. I slumped into the passenger's seat and found the little lever that makes the seat a recliner. I reclined, she drove and strength is now returning. I can't believe that I am no longer able to do what i did when i was 20! That was a mere 8 years ago. I am fading fast.
My prayer life has gone and is going through a metamorphosis. Prior to about 30 days ago, most of my prayers were for the hurting, walking wounded, the angry, lost, and ignorant. These past few days have been consumed with a child talking to his Father, who happens to be the Great Physician. He hasn't been forthcoming on His rational; it is strictly a need to know basis. I have the needs and He has the know. That will have to do for now.
Through this adventure I have settled on a new name for myself. I need a new name that more accurately reflects my close relationship with the All Mighty. I need a name that beautifully articulates my walk with the King of Kings. I need a name such that, when people speak it, they immediately know that i am an heir in waiting. I need a weighty name that is worthy of one like me. No common name will ever do now. I have been introduced to my true spiritual self and my new name must be in stride with my new found walk and position in Christ!
From now on I can no longer be merely "Aaron." To convey all the above, I must now be "Aaron, the beggar." I think that sums it up nicely. I am completely dependant on His grace. Grace, Amazing Grace, for a beggar like me...............
Blessings,
The Beggar
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14 comments:
PA Beggar,
Your words, so beautifully written, moved me to tears! The saints who are praying, begging and pleading on your behalf for all the pain and illness to end are too many to count! But no matter how much we beg and plead, it must be in His perfect timing. You've allowed us to peer into your window of pain, but we can't truly understand what you are going through. Your faith in the Lord and your living and written testimonies of God's grace are truly inspiring! Thank you for being so transparent with us. We'll continue to pray that His mercies are new everyday!
Even pastors have to experience the silence of God. To the person who is not in a close relationship with God, His silence can ofttime push them away, but to Christians like you His silence only draws you closer.
God stood silent when Christ asked Him the take the cup away and Paul never did have the thorn taken away after numerous prayers.
In our finite lives we would never stand silent while one we love suffers, but God in His infinite wisdom allows us to suffer even as He has unending love for us. Ours (mine) is not to question His wisdom, nor try to understand His logic, but to know He is with us and to keep faith that He will turn the bad in to good.
Thanks for your humor through all this...you and yours are in our prayers..
Beggar,
Your faith and relationship with Christ have continually fed a flock throughout this time. Thank you for the willingness to allow us to be a part of this journey. I just wish you/He had let us carry a little more of the load.It is humbling to be able to call you friend. Your life glorifies Him.
Dear Br. Aaron,
Just had to write and tell you your blogs have become our family entertainment and inspiration:)... thank you for sharing so funny yet so richly...GOD is using you right where you are...Johnny could relate to some of your pain yesterday so though he laughed as I read, he laughed with compassion:)...I sure can relate to "Aaron the Beggar" I think it's the best place the LORD has ever allowed me to walk, when HE allows me to see a glimpse of how dependent I am upon HIM...thanks so much for preaching to our hearts, through your pain.
We love ya'll,
Johnny, Mitzi, John Mac, and Hannah Beth
P.S. My last trip to the Bass Pro Shop wasn't too hot either...you know that "environ" stuff about got me... I hope your next trip will be better:).
PA Beggar
Thank you, your dignity may be lost, but you illuminate the path of righteousness.
Jeremiah 29:11
Our prayers continue for a humble servant.
Michael
FaithSteps
Oh, love the new name! I think that sums it up beautifully! Mark was also proud of your effort to get your strength back at the Bass Pro Shop (it always makes him feel better) :)
I don't know why Daniel insists on this particular knock knock joke (as no one else has ever laughed at it), but he has been wanting to send it to you for about a week now and I am finally giving in. Enjoy! :)
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Nobel
Nobel Who?
Nobel, that's why I knocked!
Love ya,
The Traylors
Brother Aaron, we have been praying for you and Denise continually, but man I didnt realize how bad off you were. I mean when you can't walk around in a (man) store (Arr Arr Arr) for a unlimited amount of time we have a problem.
I know it has been a rough journey and it seems you can't get back to normal, that is if normal was correct before. Anyway, I think you may be pushing the issue. Not that you are getting out and doing things. I think that is great, but maybe your expectations of your stamina may be a little high. Don't get yourself down, it will come back as time goes by. Enjoy the time you have where you are.
This may make for a long post, but I would like to share something I shared at Church the other night.
I have had a rough three months at work with jobs and cash flow and have not received a pay check during this time. In times past this would always bring depression, conflicts at home, etc. This time, as I have grown in Christ, I have found peace. I have tried my best not to worry, I have not got depressed, there have been no conflicts at home. I have put all my trust in God. The really good part about all this is that I have always wanted to serve at VBS and this year, with the slow work period I was provided the time to do that. I also took this time to spend more time with my wife and kids and others that I needed to spend time with. In fact my rough three months has been a blessing and not a tragedy. I stepped out on faith with all 4 feet, continued to worship, continued to serve, and continued my normal tythe and God blessed me with what I always wanted to do and what I needed to do.
Be happy and enjoy the time you have WHERE YOU ARE. The blessings that you are issuing and the blessings you are to receive are not complete yet.
Brother, I love you and wish you all the best at Gods speed.
I hope this testimony put at least a small smile on that face.
See ya soon!
Jeff
Aaron,
As I spoke with one of our brothers in the hospital this evening, he lay in the bed after having a heart-cath, and in the midst of dealing with that and many other incredible challenges at once, he looked at me and said "we are all blessed much more than we deserve." What a testimony you and he share, of faith, trust, and gratitude in the midst of trial.
Indeed, we all are beggars and deserve nothing, for we are but dust; but He chose to love us, not just collectively, but specifically, individually, in every moment. He chose before the foundations of the earth to give us His Name.... Christian. He chose to love a beggar named Aaron, and to use him for His purposes.
As you so rightly point out, this name for us means that we are beggars, yet with the hope of reigning with the Lord of all; we are slaves with nothing of our own, yet joint heirs with Christ in the riches of the Almighty; we are filthy with sin, yet before the Holy and Righteous Judge of all, we are spotless because of the imputed righteousness of Christ. Praise be to God!
Thank you for giving us a look into what God is doing in you.
Love ya, brother!
CWM
When you hurt, we all hurt. I know that doesn't really make you feel any better, but it is true.
Joy comes in the morning. Hang on to that.
Praying for you constantly. In case you are interested we have a wheelchair that you're more than welcome to use - just let us know. I know that's maybe the last thing you really want, but in the current situation it could allow you to stay out & about a bit longer without complete exhaustion. Anyway, it's here if you want to use it.
Love to you Lynn & Clark
Pa,
Change your thinking! It is my belief that we do not have to beg God for anything. He loves us and will give all good things to His children. I know all about "pleading and begging" in prayer. I've done it before and it was during this time of pleading for my friend that His voice broke through. I pleaded with God to spare my friend's life. I told God over & over how much my friend loved her 12 year old son and how much her son loved her. Finally, when I could say no more, I was quite and it was then that I heard Him say so very clearly that yes He knew. At that point, I was at peace and at rest. There was nothing I could tell God that He didn't already know. He knew the love between my friend Kerri and her son Drew. My friend died about 3 weeks later and she was at perfect peace. During our last visit, I told her that her son was eternally secure because he had accepted Christ as his savior. My friend was a strong Christian and over and over she told me during the course of her illness that "God makes no mistakes". Did she ever get upset during the course of her illness? Absolutely! We both did. We're human. But through it all, Kerri was at peace. Her son accepted Christ when he was 10, and I told Kerri on our last visit together that her son Drew was eternally secure. She knew that already but I just wanted to give her peace about her son. What really mattered was his salvation, and we both knew that he had accepted Christ as his savior at age 10. As the end of Kerri's life approached, I prayed for mercy for Kerri and God answered yes. He took her home. Her suffering was over.
I absolutely love the song "He knows my name". He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call. What a comfort!
Now, here is a bit of unsolicited advise. You are pushing the envelope in your recovery. When we send open heart surgery patients home after about 5 days in the hospital, we tell them to begin walking 4 times a day for 10 minutes. Some are unable to walk for 10 minutes so we tell them to begin where they are most comfortable, and build from there. We tell them that by the end of 1 month before returning for their follow up visit that they should be walking about a mile. You are trying to do too much too soon. You have been hospitalized far longer than an open surgery patient and had much more extensive surgery. Rest!
One last thing and then I'll hush. For me, I am a daughter of a King! Guess that makes me a princess. There is a story about Queen Elizabeth and her daughter, Princess Anne. As a young child, Princess Anne was misbehaving at a function she was attending and the Queen leaned over and whispered, "You're a princess. Act like it!" With that reminder, the bad behavior stopped. How I wish that at all times I could remember that I am a daughter of a King and act like it! I'm growing.
You behave now and know that this princess loves you and your sweet family.
Gerry Wall
I actually had this old hymn on my mind several times as I read thru the posts(yes, a song) even before you mentioned the Great Physician in your blog...I hope its words bring solace to you...
The great Physician now is near,
The sympathizing Jesus;
He speaks the drooping heart to cheer,
O hear the voice of Jesus!
Refrain:
Sweetest note in seraph song,
Sweetest name on mortal tongue,
Sweetest carol ever sung:
Jesus, blessed Jesus!
All glory to the dying Lamb!
I now believe in Jesus;
I love the blessed Saviour's name,
I love the name of Jesus.
His name dispels my guilt and fear,
No other name but Jesus.
O how my soul delights to hear
The precious name of Jesus!
Hang in there,
Terry P.
When I think of the great people of the Bible I remember the suffering they faced. Job, Paul, Christ himself. All were CHOSEN by God for a purpose. I don't know why certain people suffer (nor do I want to be nominated for the position), but I do look up to these men as testimonies of great faith and dependence on God.
You may call yourself begger,and we are indeed dependent on God's grace, but God doesn't waste our sorrows.
Maybe he chose you to be a hero of faith. You have been a shining testimony to me as I have read your blogs, so my name for you will be CHOSEN (by God for a unique ministry). I know you didn't ask for it, but God has trusted you with it. I can't wait to see the final results.
Blessings,
TAP
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